Is it you or them? Untangle from confusion tactics.


Empath Clarity Self Check. Is it you or them.? Untangle from confusion tactics.

If you are suffering from self doubt and confusion within a relationship, here is a self check you can do to come back to the strength and relief of clarity. This will help you know if it really is you, or if it’s them making you think it’s you.

Many times both sides have areas to work on and improve. This is not an issue. What becomes an issue is when only one of you is working towards health and balance. When the other doesn’t want to look at their areas that need improvement, they may cope with this by projecting it all onto you. This can cause you so much pain and confusion especially if you love them and want the relationship to work.

None of us are perfect. However, if we know we are working on these things and doing our best to have a healthy and balance relationship with self and others, we can use this to combat any confusion, projection, or self doubt that make come our way.

Ask yourself these questions. Then see how the other person measures up to these questions.

  1. Am I thinking positive supportive thoughts about myself.
  2. Am I thinking positive supportive thoughts about other people and life situations.
  3. Am I having an “over” or “under” behaviours? Over: thinking, analysing, processing, working, giving, taking, spending, saving, eating, under eating, sitting, sleeping, etc.
  4. Am I exhibiting controlling or manipulative behaviour out of fear.
  5. Am I allowing the other person their own thoughts, feelings, and beliefs without making them wrong?
  6. Am I honest with myself and others about my feelings.
  7. Am I taking responsibility for my thoughts, feelings, emotions, and behaviours.
  8. Am I being respectful to myself and others with my openness, honesty, patience, and kindness in thoughts, words, and actions?
  9. Am I following the golden rule and asking myself, “Would I like it if they did this to me?”
  10. Am I knowing and respecting my own standards of living and upholding my integrity in this relationship?

If you answered yes, you are doing everything you can do to have a healthy relationship with self and others. Stand strong in this knowing and close your mental door behind you. Do not allow doubt in. It’s not you.

May we all grow in strength, clarity, and discernments and begin trusting ourselves like never before.

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