Lower your toleration of pain to zero.
"Oh, that's ok. They've had a hard day. They've had a hard life. They don't feel good. They don't have the knowledge I do about emotions"..etc..
Empaths, you know we do it. We "over" excuse hurtful behavior. We tolerate this hurtful behavior from a hurt person and ignore the damage this is doing to our own mental and emotional well being.
We take it and take it. Riding it out in hopes they will get better and stop hurting us.
This is not ok. This is not self respect.
This is being an emotional dumping ground. This is enabling. This is dangerous.
It's time to readjust and make your mental and emotional health and wellbeing priority, instead of making their healing more important than your health.
No amount of intentional or repetitive hurtful behavior is ok, no matter what "they have been through". None. Zero. Really let that sink in. Read it again.
Yes, we all have bad days. Yes, we all have moments of causing others pain.
However, we apologize and THEN we don't do it again or at least work hard in that direction. We take care of whatever was going on within us and we don't take that out on another person.
Hurt me once. If you apologize and I see true remorse and significant changes in your behavior, then we can keep walking this path together.
Hurt me again and I will respect and protect myself by creating mental, emotional, and then physical distance.
If you respect yourself you can do this fairly easily. If you don't, you will struggle.
Those we allow close to us, to live in the same house with us, to gain access to our personal lives should be safe people at least working towards healthy and balanced relationships. You should feel safe and be treated with kindness, patience, and respect. You should not be finding yourself curled up in a corner every other day.
If you are being hurt, please seek support and move towards indifference of what they are thinking and feeling so you can be strong enough to put them at a safe distance and regain your health and balance.